in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
