I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
