Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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