wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
