Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
40s are totally the cure
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
