Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
