Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just found puke in my bra..
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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