Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
