I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
