you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Walk of Shame today included voting.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
