It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
