How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
