My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
