Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
