you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
