I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize