you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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