And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
