so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
