I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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