o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
