the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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