he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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