one might say we're banned from that church
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
