pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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