Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
