He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
