Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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