If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
