I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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