there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We got so high we made milksteak
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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