ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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