I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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