fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
