apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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