you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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