tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
