That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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