dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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