His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
