Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
