Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize