I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
