She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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