I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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