thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
