that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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