Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
