You really coming over, don't trick.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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