shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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