Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
