I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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