so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
