Say something about gay babies.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
