Dual....:-)
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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