Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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