we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
