Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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