If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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