i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
