doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
After last night, I could never be a politician.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
